Establishing a Testimony
When I was younger, I always had a difficult time sharing my "testimony." In fact, I really didn't think I had one. I was raised in a Christian home in Dallas, Texas. I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior in seventh grade. I participated in several youth mission trips in the United States and Mexico before I left for college. I was the typical church kid.

However, I desired that kind of testimony you hear from a drug addict-murderer who found Jesus through a life-changing experience in an alley somewhere when he was near death from an overdose or drug deal gone bad. My own story was nothing like that, and I felt I really didn't have anything to share.

It wasn't until just a few years ago that I finally discovered I did have a story to tell. I went on my first mission trip as an adult to Oaxaca, Mexico, with a group of men from my church. As we were preparing for the trip several months in advance, we were getting to know each other and learning about the region and the people we would be in contact with in Mexico.

The leader of the group was encouraging interaction within the group by probing a little about our testimonies. He challenged us in a way I had never been challenged before. He said, "If you could tell someone just three things about you and your life so that they would truly know you, what three things would you share?"

It took only five seconds for those three things to pop into my head; yet, at that time, I had no idea what the Lord had in store for my life over the next two years.

Revealing a Testimony
I had participated in a marriage conference given by Gary Thomas (author of Sacred Marriage, and other fine books) several months earlier. It was a very small point that he made, but one thing stuck out to my wife, Anne, and me from that conference. Mr. Thomas said something that resonated with me. To paraphrase his comments, he said "Your spouse should feel like he or she is married to Jesus."

Intense! What a way to live your life? To live in such a way that your spouse sees Jesus in you? I thought, "How awesome would that be if Anne saw Jesus in me?" Shortly after that conference, I told my wife I was going to write a book called Married to Jesus.

What I hadn't told my wife at the time, and what I really didn't know God had in store for me, was the deeper story that would reveal itself through the process of writing Married to Jesus.

Back to the challenge from our mission trip leader: there were three life-changing events that had jumped into my head as soon as we were given the challenge. Those three events were:

1. The blessings I received from God when I was born into a wonderful family, with loving and caring Christian parents; a father that offered as good a role model as I could ask for; and the grace of God I received when I accepted Christ at an early age.
2. When I was 12 years old, I was molested by a young man in my church. This event rocked my life at the time, and yet I ignored or denied it for so long. This experience ultimately drove me into almost 20 years of an addiction to pornography, 20 years of harsh feelings toward the man who did this to me, and a secret part of my life that still haunts me today.
3. The third key event started in February of 2004. I had fought God long enough and I finally realized I couldn't fight any more. I realized I had to release my struggles with pornography to God; I had to forgive the man who molested me so many years ago; and I had to come clean with my wife and tell her everything—a secret I had kept from her for more than 12 years.

I only addressed the first two steps of event #3 in February 2004, though. You see, it was February 2005 (a full year later) when I was preparing for this mission trip, and I had still not opened up to my wife about everything. Although I had released everything to God and I had personally forgiven that man—and asked for forgiveness myself for harboring so much anger toward him for so long—I could not bring myself to tell Anne. By the grace of God, I was no longer imprisoned by an addiction to pornography; but I had not gathered the strength to tell my wife about it.

Embracing a Testimony
I was finally able to confess everything to Anne after I returned from that mission trip to Mexico. The Lord used that trip and those men to allow me to reveal my testimony and to give me courage to confess to Anne. It was not easy; in fact it was quite difficult, and the pain of my actions still lingers to this day. But, the love of God and the love of my wife have carried us through.

Married to Jesus is not just another marriage book. It is a call to husbands and wives to wake up! We have been given the blueprint for the perfect marriage and it is right before our very eyes. Ephesians 5:21-33 offers insight into marriage like no other written or spoken word in the history of the world! To display the characteristics of Jesus in your marriage is key.

My hope is that my story will touch the lives of men and women who may have their own "secrets" or addictions that need to be dealt with. Without honesty and forgiveness in your marriage you WILL NOT have a solid foundation from which to grow. But, displaying these and other core characteristics of Jesus Christ in your marriage will establish that foundation.

I hope you enjoy the book. And, please feel free to share your comments by writing to me at matt@marriedtojesus.com. I look forward to hearing from you.